At Goodman Ray, we know that the Christmas period can be especially difficult for parents going through separation or divorce. Emotions often run high, routines change, and expectations, both internal and external, can feel overwhelming. Amidst all of this, the most important priority remains clear: supporting your children with stability, reassurance, and kindness.
Drawing on our decades of experience in family law, we have put together our top practical and child-focused tips to help parents approach the festive season with as much grace and calm as possible.
Tip 1 – Plan Ahead and Communicate Openly
Do:
- Start conversations early about Christmas arrangements.
- Share schedules clearly in writing.
- Consider practicalities such as travel, handover times, and your children’s routines.
Don’t:
- Leave arrangements until the last minute.
- Assume the other parent already knows your plans.
Early, structured communication helps minimise tension and gives children the predictability they need to feel settled.
Tip 2 – Keep Decisions Child-Focused
Do:
- Ask what will make your children feel happiest and most secure.
- Factor in their ages, personalities, and wishes where appropriate.
Don’t:
- Allow conflict or adult emotions to dictate arrangements.
- Use Christmas as a battleground.
Children flourish when decisions are made with their wellbeing, not parental preference, at the centre.
Tip 3 – Be Flexible and Be Creative
Do:
- Consider celebrating on a different day if needed.
- Embrace the idea of “two Christmases” if it brings joy and balance.
Don’t:
- Insist on rigid traditions solely for the sake of tradition.
- Let pride prevent compromise.
Flexibility can reduce conflict and help children enjoy meaningful celebrations in both homes.
Tip 4 – Provide a Consistent, United Message
Do:
- Agree on what you will tell the children and present information calmly and consistently.
- Reassure them that both parents want them to enjoy the holidays.
Don’t:
- Speak negatively about the other parent.
- Use children as messengers between households.
Emotional security comes from consistency. Children cope better when parents communicate reassuringly, even from separate homes.
Tip 5 – Coordinate Gifts Sensibly
Do:
- Communicate about gift-giving to avoid duplication.
- Keep the focus on meaningful experiences, not quantity.
Don’t:
- Overspend to compete with the other parent.
- Make children feel guilty about enjoying gifts from both families.
Cooperative gift-giving shows children that their needs come before parental conflict.
Tip 6 – Maintain Traditions While Introducing New Ones Thoughtfully
Do:
- Keep familiar rituals where possible to provide continuity.
- Gently introduce new festive traditions that suit your new circumstances.
Don’t:
- Make children choose between traditions.
- Expect everything to feel the same immediately.
Goodman Ray insight: Stability paired with thoughtful change can be incredibly comforting for children adapting to family transitions.
Tip 7 – Prioritise Your Own Wellbeing
Do:
- Make plans for you when the children are with the other parent, see friends, take time for yourself, or rest.
- Reach out for support, whether emotional or legal, if you need it.
Don’t:
- Place emotional responsibility on your children.
- Struggle alone if you’re finding the season difficult.
Children benefit from calm, regulated parents. Looking after yourself is part of looking after them.
Tip 8 – Keep Conflict Away From the Festive Period
Do:
- Communicate clearly and neutrally.
- Step back from discussions that become heated.
Don’t:
- Discuss matters during handovers or in front of the children.
- Try to resolve wider disputes over the Christmas period.
Protecting the Christmas holiday from conflict allows children to form positive memories despite the separation.
Tip 9 – Introduce New Partners With Care
Do:
- Take introductions slowly and sensitively.
- Consider your children’s emotional readiness.
Don’t:
- Surprise children with new partners during Christmas gatherings.
New dynamics require time and sensitivity, especially during emotionally charged periods like Christmas.
Tip 10 – Focus on the Meaning, Not the Date
Do:
- Make the time you have with your children warm, calm, and positive, whether it’s the 25th or another day.
Don’t:
- Feel pressured to deliver a “perfect” Christmas.
- Forget that what children value most is connection, not timings.
Children remember the feeling of Christmas, not the calendar. Love, security, and joy matter more than the exact schedule.
We are Here to Support You this Christmastime
At Goodman Ray, we understand the nuanced challenges that families face during separation, especially at Christmas. If you need guidance on arrangements, support in reducing conflict, or practical legal advice, our family law specialists are here to help you navigate the season with confidence and clarity.
Contact us today
If you have any questions or wish to get legal advice on any of the topics raised above please feel free to contact us.
Call us on 020 7608 1227
